JMT born October 15, 2013
It’s taken me an entire week of writing this in bits and
pieces. I hope it all makes sense! Also, this is my record of J’s birth, so I
wanted to record as many of the details as I could remember. Hopefully it’s not TMI, but read at your own
risk!
J’s birth was quite an exciting ride! After C-section with L, I knew I wanted to
try to have a natural birth, and I knew my best chance was to learn everything
I could and do the whole thing without drugs and interventions as much as
possible.
To give a quick recap, I was seeing a Certified Nurse
Midwife because she would allow us to have a hospital birth with the benefits
of having a midwife in the room with us throughout labor and delivery. We were very happy with our choice until we
found out at 38 weeks 2 days that our hospital would only allow us to have a
repeat C-section since they measured my pelvis to be too small to risk a
natural birth. We scheduled the surgery
for the following Friday, but I truly felt that it was the wrong decision. Fortunately I was talking to a woman who we
later hired to be our doula, and she made a couple of connections for us with
doctors that would be willing to give me a trial of labor at a different
hospital. We chose a wonderful doctor
and decided to hire S to be our doula to make sure we’d have someone who knew
our hopes and how to help us achieve them in the room with us!
During the few days that it took to line up our new
arrangements, I was praying that I wouldn’t
go into labor and have to make a spur of the moment decision to go ahead with
C-section or just refuse and take my chances at a different hospital. Once we met the new doctor, it was back to
praying for a swift and positive end to pregnancy! I went in for a 40 week appointment and was
dilated to 2 cm and 50% effaced. I’d
also been having strong Braxton Hicks contractions that were sometimes even 5
minutes apart. Every few days, they’d
get close together like that, but then they’d slow back down. At my 41 week 2 day appointment, I was 3 cm,
70% and having several contractions an hour most of the time. We did a non-stress test which went fine and
which agreed with me about the strength of contractions! Dr. K was pretty sure I’d go into labor that
night (Friday), but we scheduled an ultrasound to check fluid level and health
of the placenta, and planned to induce on Tuesday morning if I didn’t go into
labor on my own. Dr. K has a reputation
for predicting when labor will start, so I didn’t worry about the induction. Unfortunately, we got through the weekend,
and I found myself still pregnant and worried on Monday morning.
Next to C-section, Pitocin was the last thing I wanted. I’d hoped we could even try more natural
induction methods, but I was so far dilated that it wasn’t even worth doing
something to get me to dilate. I told
doctor and doula my fears, but they both reassured me that this would be
nothing like my induction with L.
Clearly my body was progressing on its own, so Dr. K would just use the
bare minimum of Pitocin and turn it off once my body took over. After a lot of prayer, I was able to let go
of my worries and try to relax. We sent
L to grandma’s house so that we’d all sleep well. I managed to fall asleep at a decent
hour. D, on the other hand, was too
anxious to get to sleep until after midnight.
At around 12:45 I woke up with a contraction. It had been my pattern to wake up with them
most nights and even have trouble falling back asleep until I got up and moved
around for a while. I didn’t think much
of it and went back to sleep for a while.
At around 1:30, I woke up with another one and had to get up. I went downstairs, got a snack, checked Facebook,
and had a few other surprisingly strong contractions. I started timing. Three minutes apart. I moved around some more, trying to change
positions, but they continued and the pain in my back got stronger. I tried watching TV and working/resting
through contractions. I was trying hard
not to jump to conclusions or get my hopes up, but I finally decided that if I
had two more strong contractions, I’d go wake D up.
I got through one more.
The pain was so strong in my back that I decided I needed him right
away. Since we were both really tired, I
had D lay behind me and just put pressure on my back during every
contraction. They spaced out to about 7
minutes apart, so we both slept between.
It was great to be able to rest, but during the contractions, I couldn’t
move or really cope with the pain. After
about an hour, I decided I had to get out of bed and try the shower. Once in the shower, the contractions picked
up to three minutes apart again, but were far less intense. We decided to call Dr. K since the idea is
close together and more intense. I figured it was better to let her know. That was sometime around 4 in the
morning. She wanted us to go ahead and
come in for the 7:30 scheduled induction (not that she was going to induce at
this point) just to keep us from getting stuck in rush hour traffic. We were more than willing. D packed up our bags and loaded the car. I worked through contractions, but I needed
his help as soon as I could get it. We
tried to eat some to keep up our energy.
We tried watching TV. Clearly I
was in active labor, because it was hard to do anything but breathe.
We left for the hospital at around 6:45. The sunrise was beautiful. I didn’t care. I had around five contractions on the
way. I missed D’s help so much! We got to the hospital valet parking and I
had two contractions very quickly just trying to get out of the car and into a
wheel chair. I walk all the time, but I
was not going to try it this time! Going
in, I understood how the flight or fight instinct kicks in and can stall
labor. Just going into the sterile
hospital environment made me feel a little panicky. I could tell I was hyperventilating a little
bit, so I just tried to get through. As
soon as I got to my room and saw nurse K, I relaxed. She was calm and reassuring. She got me on the fetal heart rate and
contraction monitors, got my capped IV in (VBAC requirement), and asked a bunch
of questions. Then she did an exam and
found I was 5+ cm!
My doula, S, came shortly after and we worked on several
positions for contractions. Dr. K came
around maybe 10ish. She didn’t check me,
which was good and bad. News of progress
would have been nice, but I definitely didn’t want to hear no change. An hour or so later, something must have
changed because S asked if I was starting to feel like pushing. I said, maybe, but not anything strong. She still had Dr. K come check me. The only thing I didn’t want to hear was 8,
because that’s where I stalled with L.
Sure enough, 8 cm, but stretchy.
In all my studying, I hadn’t encountered “stretchy” so I was surprised
when she said I could start pushing as I felt like it. As far as I knew, I was still in
transition.
I fully expected transition to be the hardest part. I was waiting for the double peak
contractions. I may have had two, and I
know there was a point where I got hot and cold, so I guess that was it.
They suggested I try the shower for some pain relief. It was helpful, but tricky since the water
temperature would fluctuate quite a bit.
My monitors were not picking up the baby’s heartbeat—this is where I
knew I had an exceptional doctor—Dr. K, herself was holding the monitor on my
stomach and moving it around to try to catch the beat. She was getting splashed on and everything
for probably at least half an hour. I
was so exhausted that I kept nodding off in the shower between
contractions. I finally decided I’d had
enough and was brave enough to try get out.
(Contractions got stronger whenever I moved.)
Since I was tired, they suggested that I try pushing in
bed. At this point, I still didn’t have
much of a desire to push, but they were sure I could start. David was behind me, doula on the right, nurse
on the left, and doctor sitting on the foot of the bed. They had me hold my legs, tuck my chin, and
curl up to push as hard as I could. I had
to push three to four times per contraction.
Transition was not the hardest!
Pushing was very painful, and I was very tired. Dr. K broke my water sometime while I was
pushing, but I’m not sure when. All I
know is that his head was so low hardly any fluid came out. After a while, we tried shifting to my side
for a few contractions. The last thing I thought I’d be doing was screaming,
but I definitely did some of that. After
one unhealthy scream, I remember saying (joking a little), “that was not good
for my voice.” The nurse thought that it
was funny I’d care, but my doula told her I was a singer, so it would matter to
me. And I knew from my classes that I
shouldn’t be screaming, because only low sounds would be helpful. That sure didn’t stop me. After a few more, I returned to my back
because it was the most restful. I was
thinking about my “small pelvis” and “big baby” and that I should probably be
in a better position, but they kept telling me I was making great progress. I’d
hear, “Push as hard as you can,” and I’d try, but I was sure it wasn’t hard
enough. They kept saying that I’d had a
really great push and that he was almost here, but I was sure they were just
trying to keep me from giving up. My doula told me Dr. K was getting ready J
was definitely posterior (face up), but he turned as he was coming out. Dr. K asked if I wanted to see in a mirror,
feel the baby’s head. I said no! (I guess when I am in pain, I like to pretend
it’s not happening…?) She convinced me
to touch his head, and I really was shocked to feel it. We actually were close to the end! Things got a little intense at the end since
he angled up at the last minute and I ended up tearing where you don’t normally
tear, and I’m not sure what happened, but he must have practically exploded out
because I heard, “Head! Shoulders!” and he was on my chest in the same
second. I literally could not believe it
was over.
They toweled J off and he stayed on my chest for an
hour. I had to be stitched up, and I was
bleeding more than normal, so I needed a shot of Pitocin. (Nothing like the drip!) At some point, I asked what time he was
born. The nurse told me 2:03. I asked her how long I’d been pushing and she
said, “You got back into bed a little after 1:00, so just under an hour.” I was prepared for an epically long labor and
hours of pushing. Even though the pain
was worse than I imagined, it was over much more quickly than I
anticipated.
It’s night and day difference between my C-section and
VBAC. There is still pain, but I could
get out of bed on my own immediately. We
bonded and nursed well right away. The
toughest part has been trying to remember that I’m in recovery. I’m so much more mobile that I don’t remember
I should be resting until I have already done too much.
It’s crazy and sad to me that I wouldn’t be allowed to have
this experience in the hospital we’d originally chosen. We are planning to visit our midwife and
nurse from that hospital next week, and I only hope that our success will
influence some change for them. Nothing
about my labor was predictable or even matched my expectations. My husband was awesome! I was almost as proud of him as I am of
myself.
J is a great baby. L
loves him, but is adjusting to sharing mommy. I’m so thankful for the
successful outcome without induction or drugs, my support team, and for the prayers and love from family
and friends. We couldn’t have done it alone!
